Does anyone have a time machine I could borrow?

I have had the shittiest five days. Actually, make that ten days. Let me explain. 

Our ‘family-time week’ was taken over by grocery shopping, blog interviews, school drop offs and pick ups, hellish traffic in Fourways (wtf!!a 10 min drive took an hour!!) and car shopping every damn day. Poor J went from dealership to dealership trying to find a car that fitted our budget (R100k-R120k), with a decent mileage (<60,000) and that wasn’t the size of a sardine can. Turns out our requirements are unreasonable (say what??) because we still dont have a second car. This may seem like a small hiccup but it means  A can’t go to school and that our house hunting still has to wait it’s turn. I feel as if we are going to blow the budget soon just to get this mess over and done with. Poop.

The worst part of this week and a half happened on Saturday morning. There I was, merrily making bacon and eggs for breakfast and feeling really happy that A’s fever from the night before seemed to have passed without any side effects. I picked up the empty egg carton to throw in the bin and experienced THE WORST physical pain I have ever felt. I have suffered with muscle spasms in my lower back many times before but this was like nothing I had ever felt. I wanted to scream in pain but I could barely breathe. I couldn’t straighten up and I couldn’t bend further. For the first time in my life I wanted to pass out. My brow was sweaty, I couldn’t take in a full breath, it was just horrible. J managed to help me sit in a chair but poor A was freaked out. I tried to keep some lightness in my voice but she’s a perceptive little peanut and it was obvious I was in pain. 

Anyway, one wheelchair trip to the emergency room (R1,500 excl doc fee still to be billed) another to the GP (R740) plus a car ride to the radiologist (R1,420) and basically I just need to take my meds (R450) and then go see a chiropractor  (R560 a session). Looks like we’ll be eating dry toast for the rest of the month πŸ˜‘

Ok, the wheelchair rides were kinda fun 😊

The worst part of all this (besides the crazy pain and haemorrhaging of money) was that I couldn’t take care of my girls. I couldn’t hold E or play with her at all. A set up a beatiful tea party that I couldn’t attend. Poor J was/is running on fumes taking care of all of us. The meds took a day or two to kick in but had major sedative effects. I havn’t slept this much in over a year! I’m finally on the mend with only slight pain but I still can’t do as much I usually can. 
A is getting cabin fever because I can’t drive her to school or take her down to the jungle gym. I hate saying ‘Not now honey, mummy’s back is still sore’. Four year olds shouldn’t have to worry about their parents health. I’m supposed to seem invincible so that she feels I can protect her from anything. This is messed up. 

Time for a change. I have dropped the ball exercise wise which means the muscles that were stretched beyond recognition during pregnancy are now lazy AF. This is the main cause of the muscle spasm. My core muscles are more like core marshmallows. This mum wants to be invincible. For me that means eating right, exercising regularly and losing 10kg or dropping two dress sizes. 

Now that I have made this information public I better get my ass in gear. But first, I need a nap. Zzz

That awkward moment when the doc looked at my xray and said I have a beautiful pelvis…and then my husband agreed 😐 Not sure if I should be flattered or embarassed πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

9 thoughts on “Does anyone have a time machine I could borrow?

      1. I had a frozen shoulder from all that baby weightlifting and breastfeeding. It was awfully painful. If your spasms persist, try acupuncture like I did. Helped a ton…


  1. Feel better soon.
    About those lazy muscles…. I know all about it
    Going to start doing some simple exercises soon… just as I’m about to start work, yet did nothing in my 4 months at home.

    Love your column.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. They have time machines at Wallmarts for $32.89. You can get a two year extended warranty but it may not apply if you wind up being two years beyond or before you bought the machine depending what year you send yourself to.

    Liked by 1 person

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