Let’s talk about sex bay-bee 🎶🎶

That song is so damn catchy!!!

Mum and dad, if you’re reading this please stop now 😅😅


If talking about sex makes you feel uncomfortable then you should probably skip over this blog post. However, if you are open minded and view sex as a natural act and not something to be ashamed off then please read on and comment below. 


Ok, back to business. My husband and I have a pretty frikken awesome sex life. I can’t even downplay it to sound humble. We set the roof on fire. Our tastes run along the same lines and so we are able to meet each other’s needs and beyond. This is actually one of the pillars of our marriage and part of the reason why we are so close friendship wise. Physical closeness naturally leads to emotional closeness for us.

Things havn’t always been so amazing though. Following both pregnancies it was months before my libido came out of hibernation. Between sleep deprivation, the demands of a needy toddler who was no longer an only child, accepting the havoc that pregnancy played on my body and sheer godawful exhaustion…I just couldn’t deal. Sleep or showering always took the highest priority for any free time that I had and besides that, I was a crying mess for the first six months or so postpartum and no one wants to deal with that kind of meltdown when you’re getting busy! Especially not the person having the meltdown!!

Now, almost a year after the birth of our last child (yep, last. Which makes me feel both relieved and sad but that’s a blog post for another day) I am finally back to my old self. The kids are sleeping through the night and we are getting our groove back. If you have kids you will also know that you sometimes have to seize the moment because you don’t know when someone is going to start coughing until they throw up or need a sip of water. *shakes head*

The whole point of this post though, is that as connected as we are as husband and wife, we are still not on the same wavelength when it comes to sex. I’m not sure if this is a women thing or a stay at home mum thing or just a me thing. Being at home all day with the kids is obviously exhausting but it’s also physically taxing in the sense that there’s only so much touching that I can take. With the girls climbing all over me and the little one wanting to be carried evey now then, it just becomes a bit much. Especially for someone like me who doesn’t like too much of physical contact. That’s actually part of the reason why I had to stop breastfeeding, I just couldn’t take the constant touching and sucking. (Interestingly enough, I found out much later that there is such a thing as breastfeeding aversion which pretty much summed up how I felt about the whole experience)

I know men and women have different sexual drives but my husband was quite hurt the other night when I said that I would not only prefer to have a cup of tea and read a book instead of getting hot and heavy, but that it would bring me the same amount of happiness and contentment albeit of a different variety. He was horrified. I was shocked that he was horrified 😂. It’s so rare for me to get quiet time alone that I now place a REALLY high value on it. Even though I go out on my own quite often (being 1-3 times 😛) during the week, its still not the same as being alome in the comfort of your own home.

I would love to know your thoughts on this. Am I the only weirdo who does a happy dance all the way to the bookshelf or tv remote when everyone falls asleep unusually early? And how often do parents ACTUALLY have sex? I’m sure there’s a research study I could look it up but I would much rather hear from you 😂

*the cover pic of this post is just me being sarcastic…plus you know, young Brad Pitt*


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6 thoughts on “Let’s talk about sex bay-bee 🎶🎶

  1. I’m with you all the way. I always joke that it’s not marriage that kills sex, it’s ha big children! Like you say, it’s all the touchiness and I also think neediness of the kids. I actually said to my partner “I’ve figured out the problem – I never wanted to actually be needed this much” 😂😂😂 I love my kids and I love being a mum but the younger years are INTENSE. As for the frequency – well it depends so much on the state of our relationship. We are separated now but prior to this when thing were in the good zone we’d do it once a week on average but less than that when I hated him. I would expect that to increase as the kids got older though and we found out happy. The emotional satisfaction and friendship has to be there to generate the lovin for me. Of course sometimes you do it when you don’t feel like it otherwise you never would but for the most part that’s where it’s at.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Eisj you are brave to bring this up. I think what you feeling is normal. I can relate a bit since I have a toddler. The talking of touching reminds me of Shaveh Feder’s post on the five love languages. I think we should look at that, maybe it will help a bit. Thank you for sharing this hotttttt post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you summed up something quite perfectly for me. The whole lugging and carrying kids, around and especially in and out of cars you forget how they hang on you. It really is physically taxing; worse when its winter with the layers of clothes and in summer when it’s so hot… okay it’s exhausting all of the time. Totally agree.

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  4. I’m with you on this! As soon as the kids go to bed I really value the rest of the evening to just do nothing. It’s nice to have my own personal space back where I’m not needed. I mostly go straight to bed once the kids go to bed and you can guarantee within an hour or two I’m asleep myself much to my other half’s frustration sometimes x

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  5. You’re spot on about the time period after baby. Getting my “groove” back has always been liberating, even more so after the last one because he’s definitely our last (so I don’t have to count days, or make sure we have our “jacket” available- vasectomy = freedom!) but even still three kids, all day, being needed, hugged, spilt on or cried on – tea and a biscuit balance the scales with a “quickie”.
    How often? We’re at once a week (honestly) schedules don’t align and our older ones are too curious and will walk in on purpose 🤦🏽‍♀️ So when the stars align and we can nail it down – we do 💪🏽👊🏽😍 long nights are for weekends away 😉😉

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