Fairytale fails

I used to love fairytales. The lighthearted ‘everything works out in the end’ bedtime stories. That is, until I had kids of my own. Now I am reading the stories from my own childhood to my kids and I have mixed emotions at the lack of questions. It’s good that I don’t have to come up with creative answers but also bad that they are not questioning the logic of things. True, one is four and the other just turned one but still. 
Here’s some of the questions I kinda wish my girls would ask…and then go to their dad for answers while I laugh quietly in the other room:

*RED RIDING HOOD*

– Why didn’t the wolf eat Red when he came across her in the forest and then go to the cottage and eat Granny? Or eat Granny later when he was hungry again? Plus he had the basket of goodies for dessert.  

– How did Red and Granny fit in the wolf’s tummy? And whole!

– Why was the wolf killed for being a wolf? He needs to eat too. 

A very gentle version of the story…

*CINDERELLA*

– Don’t lots of people wear the same size shoe?

Oh look! A size 5! 😑

*SNOW WHITE*

– Why did the evil stepmother have to disguise herself as such a horrible looking old lady? Surely a nice, friendly looking granny would have been easier to trust 

– Is White her surname?

I would NOT eat anything from someone who looked like this 💀

*THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA*

– Why does the Prince want someone who bruises so easily? 

– What if she wanted to pee in the middle of the night and forgot that she was so high up?

There must be other Princes out there…

*BEAUTY AND THE BEAST*

– Why doesn’t Belle ever ask the Prince what his name is? 

– Can the Prince stay a Beast? He looks much more handsome that way. (Original Disney not live action remake)

Such a handsome fellow

*RAPUNZEL* (TANGLED VERSION)*

– No way can hair stay together like that ALL the time! 

– How does she make a swing from her hair without getting a headache from the pulling?

– How much of shampoo and conditioner does she use?

– if she has never trimmed her hair does that mean that she has split ends? 

– How does she keep her head upright when her hair is plaited, it must be really heavy.

– So many hair questions!

This girl must have a very strong neck

That being said, I am really enjoying the new Fairy Tales like Frozen, Moana and also Tangled even with the thousands of hair questions (I have hair envy). They aren’t waiting for a Prince to marry (I’m looking at you Snow White, Aurora and nameless soft skinned Princess!) or save them. I may actually phase out the old stories with my girls. I can’t read them without rolling my eyes anymore. 

Don’t even get me started on Nursery Rhymes! That’s a blog post for another day…
I know it’s weird to question some things and not others in a fairytale (like waistcoat wearing wolves and talking mirrors) but bear with me or this would have been a very long read! 😂

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