The curious case of Girly

I can’t remember when exactly it started but my daughter created an imaginary friend called Girly about two years ago. I feel like I’m spelling it wrong but that’s the least of my problems here! Anyway, when Girly first made her (non)appearance in our lives it was through phone calls on toy cellphones. The whole thing was very cute and she would tell Girly about her baby sister or what she did at school and the usual nonsensical kid stuff that’s super adorable. We would pretend to talk to Girly as well and it was all cool.

Until Girly died.

(What the hellllllllll?????!!!!!)

I found out about poor Girlys untimely demise while we were playing outside. It was a lovely sunny afternoon, blue skies with puffy white clouds. I was trying to be a pro-active parent and picked up the toy phone from the floor asking if she had spoken to Girly lately, only to get this response “I can’t talk to her. She died” I’m pretty sure my mouth hung open and my eyes almost popped out of my head. Amidst my sputtering and mild freak out, I asked what happened to poor Girly. Turns out she was getting too old so they killed her. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

1. Who are ‘they’??
2. How old was Girly??
3. Why did she have to die for being old?
4. How did they kill her??
5. When did this happen??

I should mention at this point that my child does not like any old people except her grandparents. The sight of wrinkly skin makes her angry and she throws the stink eye at pensioners with zero hesitation. She has mentioned on numerous occasions that she doesn’t want me to get old (you and me both honey!). Clearly, she finds aging offensive but I didn’t realize HOW offensive.

Since that first horrific discovery, Girly has died a few more times. She has been really sick. She ate something bad. She was eaten by a tiger. And a few others I can’t remember or have blocked from my memory.

Once, while getting off the car, completely out of the blue, I heard from the back seat:

“Poor Girly”

Me on high alert “What’s wrong love?”

“Girly died.”

Me not phased “Yes I remember you telling me.”

“Like her Mum”

Me freaking out “WHAT?!! Her mother died too??”

“Yeah. They used to stay next door”

Oh. My. God.

Now the freakshow that is Girly has become a running joke between my husband and I.

Going outside at night? Watch out for Girly!

Heard a funny noise? Must be Girly.

Was that the tap? Girly must be thirsty.

I feel like it’s a defense mechanism. A laugh or you’ll cry/sell your house and move type of thing.

Soooo….anyone else’s kids killed off their imaginary friends? No? Just ours then? Ok never mind…

P.S. If you don’t hear from me over a long period of time…send help! Girly got us!