I can’t remember when exactly it started but my daughter created an imaginary friend called Girly about two years ago. I feel like I’m spelling it wrong but that’s the least of my problems here! Anyway, when Girly first made her (non)appearance in our lives it was through phone calls on toy cellphones. The whole thing was very cute and she would tell Girly about her baby sister or what she did at school and the usual nonsensical kid stuff that’s super adorable. We would pretend to talk to Girly as well and it was all cool.
Until Girly died.
(What the hellllllllll?????!!!!!)
I found out about poor Girlys untimely demise while we were playing outside. It was a lovely sunny afternoon, blue skies with puffy white clouds. I was trying to be a pro-active parent and picked up the toy phone from the floor asking if she had spoken to Girly lately, only to get this response “I can’t talk to her. She died” I’m pretty sure my mouth hung open and my eyes almost popped out of my head. Amidst my sputtering and mild freak out, I asked what happened to poor Girly. Turns out she was getting too old so they killed her. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!
- Who are ‘they’??
- How old was Girly??
- Why did she have to die for being old?
- How did they kill her??
- When did this happen??
I should mention at this point that my child does not like any old people except her grandparents. The sight of wrinkly skin makes her angry and she throws the stink eye at pensioners with zero hesitation. She has mentioned on numerous occasions that she doesn’t want me to get old (you and me both honey!). Clearly, she finds aging offensive but I didn’t realize HOW offensive.
Since that first horrific discovery, Girly has died a few more times. She has been really sick. She ate something bad. She was eaten by a tiger. And a few others I can’t remember or have blocked from my memory.
Once, while getting off the car, completely out of the blue, I heard from the back seat:
“Poor Girly”
Me on high alert “What’s wrong love?”
“Girly died.”
Me not phased “Yes I remember you telling me.”
“Like her Mum”
Me freaking out “WHAT?!! Her mother died too??”
“Yeah. They used to stay next door”
Oh. My. God.
Now the freakshow that is Girly has become a running joke between my husband and I.
Going outside at night? Watch out for Girly!
Heard a funny noise? Must be Girly.
Was that the tap? Girly must be thirsty.
I feel like it’s a defense mechanism. A laugh or you’ll cry/sell your house and move type of thing.
Soooo….anyone else’s kids killed off their imaginary friends? No? Just ours then? Ok never mind…
P.S. If you don’t hear from me over a long period of time…send help! Girly got us!
Dead dead dead of laughter!! Sorry I have no advice but I’m just laughing so much now!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is some f$&@ed up shit!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good luck man. I’m still laughing it’s just too much. Wow you are funny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
hahaha …. I love your sense of humour! I’m now locked inside with all the doors and windows closed and the toy crates tightly sealed … with a fricken chest of drawers on top of them!! lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣😂🤣😂 it’s funny because it’s all true. Kids are scary AF!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My son routinely says he is gonna miss me when I die … Scary little buggers. LOVED THIS
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣🤣🤣😂😂 oh man!!! I feel like that’s in my not too distant future 😜
LikeLike
#dead rofl that is hilarious but also f@ckd up😂😂😂
So my kids don’t have imaginary friends but I’ve gotten used to the random “what if you die Mom” conversations with Dudie😮.
Stay safe and keep Girly outside😂😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh man! Ella just said the same thing! 😂
LikeLike
My kid also has imaginary friends that get up to strange things. Its very funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Died laughing. Gotta meet this girl! (Your daughter, not Girly) LOL.
LikeLiked by 1 person
NO ONE wants to meet Girly 🤣
LikeLike
Is it okay for me (a grown ass adult) to admit I was too scared to read this last night after reading the intro on Facebook? 🙈😱😂
This literally made me LOL!!! 😂😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣 I live in fear!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Girly would have me living fear too! 🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my ghost!!! This is hilarious! I mean insane, but hilarious! Love your stuff 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
☠️
LikeLike
BWAAAAAAAA! This freaked me out proper!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Imagine me! 😂
LikeLike
This made me LOL and my 3-year-old wanted to know “what’s so funny, mommy”. But as funny as this is, it would definitely freak me out a bit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
WTF!!!! Okay Ive very glad I read this in the day and yes I’m freaked out. I did enjoy the read though 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂 😂 hilarious… Bloody Freaky though! 😑 I’d advise some cctv cameras… Just in case… U know for the kids sake… Not yours of Course 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
😭
LikeLike